How to Get Over Someone, According to Psychologists

Getting over someone you once loved can feel impossible—especially when your heart is tender, your routine is shaken, and your emotions are all over the place. But according to psychologists, heartbreak isn’t just emotional; it’s a real, measurable healing process that your mind and body go through. The good news? You can heal, and there are science-backed strategies that truly help.

If you’re currently dealing with the pain of a breakup or trying to let go of someone you still care about, this guide will walk you through practical, supportive, and psychologically proven ways to move forward. Let’s talk about how you can rebuild, restore, and rediscover yourself after heartbreak.

 

 

Understanding Why Breakups Hurt So Much

Breakups feel overwhelming because they disrupt both your emotional and neurological patterns. Psychologists explain that love activates the same reward pathways in the brain as addictive substances. So when you lose someone, your brain goes through withdrawal.

Some reasons healing feels so hard:

  • You’re grieving the loss of the person and the future you imagined.

  • Your daily routines and habits are suddenly unfamiliar.

  • Your brain misses the dopamine and comfort associated with that person.

  • You may feel rejection, loneliness, or confusion about your identity.

Understanding this makes one thing clear:
 You’re not “too emotional”—you’re human.

 

 

Step 1: Allow Yourself to Grieve (It’s Not Weakness)

One of the biggest mistakes people make after a breakup is trying to “move on” too fast. Psychologists emphasize that grief is not optional—it’s essential.

Give yourself permission to:

  • Cry

  • Journal

  • Feel angry

  • Feel lost

  • Take time away from social events

  • Let your emotions flow without shame

Suppressing emotions only delays healing. Releasing them helps you recover faster and more fully.

 

 

Step 2: Go No Contact (Or as Close as Possible)

Breakup recovery becomes significantly harder if you keep reopening the emotional wound. That’s why psychologists recommend no-contact for at least 30–60 days.

This means:

  • No texting

  • No calls

  • No checking their social media

  • No “just being friends” (not yet, anyway)

  • No stalking their new relationships or updates

Why it works:
 No-contact gives your brain time to detox from emotional dependency. It helps you regain clarity, independence, and emotional control.

 

 

Step 3: Protect Your Energy by Reducing Triggers

In the early stages, your mind is sensitive. Being reminded of the person constantly will keep you in the heartbreak loop.

Consider clearing out:

  • Photos

  • Gifts

  • Screenshots

  • Text threads

  • Clothes with emotional value

  • Playlists that bring back memories

You’re not erasing the relationship—you’re creating space to heal.

 

 

Step 4: Rebuild Your Self-Worth (Heartbreak Can Shake It)

Breakups can make you feel “not enough.” Psychologists warn that self-blame and overthinking are common, but harmful.

Try:

  • Writing a list of your strengths

  • Noting what you learned from the relationship

  • Practicing positive self-talk daily

  • Setting small, achievable goals

  • Surrounding yourself with supportive people

When your self-worth grows, the pain of the breakup gradually loses its power.

 

 

Step 5: Create New Routines (Stability Heals)

Your brain craves structure when experiencing emotional chaos. Creating new routines is one of the fastest ways to regain balance and feel grounded again.

Try incorporating:

  • A morning ritual

  • A new workout routine

  • A creative hobby

  • Daily skincare or self-care practice

  • Scheduled “quiet time”

  • Time outdoors or in nature

New habits help you detach from the past and build fresh neurological pathways—literally rewiring your brain.

 

 

Step 6: Lean on Your Support System (Connection Helps You Repair)

Breakups can make you want to isolate, but psychologists say human connection is a powerful healer.

Reach out to:

  • A close friend

  • A sibling

  • A parent

  • A therapist

  • A support group

Opening up lightens your emotional load and reminds you that you’re not alone.

 

 

Step 7: Take Care of Your Physical Health

Heartbreak affects your physical body too—sleep, appetite, mood, and energy levels. Supporting your physical health helps your emotional health recover faster.

Focus on:

  • Nutritious meals

  • Drinking enough water

  • Regular exercise

  • Adequate sleep

  • Mindful practices like meditation

These habits soothe your nervous system and reduce emotional intensity.

 

 

Step 8: Avoid Rebounds (They Delay Healing)

It might feel tempting to distract yourself with someone new, but psychologists warn that rebounds often:

  • Complicate your emotions

  • Interfere with genuine recovery

  • Lead to more heartbreak

  • Prevent you from truly moving on

Take your time. Focus on healing from heartbreak first.

 

 

Step 9: Reflect on the Relationship (With Honesty, Not Idealization)

Once the emotional storm settles, take time to evaluate the relationship with clarity.

Ask yourself:

  • What worked—and what didn’t?

  • Were your needs met?

  • Did you feel emotionally safe?

  • Were there red flags you ignored?

  • What patterns do you want to break?

This reflection helps you grow, not regret.

 

 

Step 10: Rediscover Yourself and Your Passions

A breakup is painful, but it’s also an opportunity to reconnect with yourself. Many people lose parts of their identity in relationships—your healing journey is a chance to reclaim them.

Explore:

  • A new hobby

  • Travel plans

  • Fashion or style changes

  • Career goals

  • Fitness goals

  • New creative outlets

The more you rediscover who you are, the easier it becomes to let go of who you were with them.

 

 

Step 11: Know That Healing Isn’t Linear

Some days you’ll feel amazing. Other days, a song or smell will bring you right back into sadness. This is normal.

Healing looks like:

  • Progress

  • Setbacks

  • Growth

  • Relearning

  • Rebuilding

Accepting the ups and downs reduces pressure and allows compassion—for yourself and your journey.

 

 

Final Thoughts: You Will Get Over Them

Healing from heartbreak can feel slow, confusing, and lonely. But every small step is progress. Every tear is release. Every boundary is growth. The pain won’t last forever—but the strength you gain from it will.

Your next chapter is waiting for you, and it begins with choosing yourself.

Ready to continue your healing journey? Explore our curated self-care essentials and find pieces that make you feel empowered, confident, and renewed.

 

 

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